Twitter Takeover

I went with a little Español this week because I figure if the NBA can get away with it, so can I. If you’re not up on your Spanish, or are too lazy to Google Translate that ish, it means, ‘Here We Go.’

It’s the final weekend before the start of the regular season. You should have your final fantasy roster set for the opener on October 30. You should be pumped. You should be excited. If you’re not, please seek professional help.

The week leading up to the opening showdowns in Cleveland, Miami and Los Angeles was very busy and full of stories. Let’s jump right into a couple of them.

The Devil Plans A Permanent Vacation, Who’s The Best Athlete?, and an AI Sighting

Huge announcement just yesterday! Breaking News!

Wait, what? Who the f*@# is Art Garcia? The big retirement announcement was from NBA Commissioner David Stern. I know I make a lot of cruel jokes at the expense of the Commish. But in my defense he hated Allen Iverson. So, you really can’t blame me. Despite what you may think of Davey-boy he has done wonders for the NBA as a company.

And I must admit I like the poetics of his departure.

Of course the news of Stern’s planned exit open up the floodgates for tons of fun. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who is an “Allen Iverson” fan.

Whoa, M.Brown might have even taken it too far on that one. But it’s apparent that some still feel Stern will always have a few tricks up his sleeve.

But now we only have to worry about how devilish his replacement, current Deputy Commissioner Adam Silver, is going to be… and look.

And just to put things into prospective…

But speaking of the AI-hater, there has been a sighting on Twitter of his least-favorite player.

No doubt homes, [insert chest pound].

Iverson spends his days over the Pacific Ocean in “The China.” He will play round-ball over there with another familiar NBA personality.

OK, so calling T-Mac might be a slight exaggeration, but it’s nice to see him continuing to do what he loves to do. You know what I love to do? Give reasons as to why LeBron James isn’t the best player in the NBA. (Because I want to, that’s why.)

Ha. Bingo.

Yeah! Keep it comin’!

Booyah!

Damnit, Chris, and you had so much potential.

At least I know there’s one person who won’t disappoint me.

OK I quit!

Just go to the Top-5.

#5 Sacramento’s Thomas Robinson had a huge put-back dunk over Dwight Howard this week. Howard took it in stride and was able to laugh it off. Follow D-12 here.

#4 John Hollinger isn’t too keen on DeMar DeRozen and made some comments that sparked a little backlash. But why all the hate on our friend John? Tas Melas, who you can follow here, has a little insight.

#3 Tattoos might be getting a little ridiculous in the NBA. Brooklyn’s Deron Williams is debating a Betty White tattoo. But Trey Kirby doesn’t think it will be his worst tat-decision. More from Kerby here.

#2 Gerald Green definitely has ups. Russ Bengtson has an idea that will tear down the All-Star weekend this year. Follow our friend Russ by clicking here.

#1 Pistons rookie Andre Drummond is a 7-footer and will tower over most people. But if you’re Asian, apparently it might bring back some bad memories. Follow the Detroit first year-man here.

BONUS Tweet:

I couldn’t go out without mentioning that Jordan Hill found Dwight Howard’s stunt-double. Enjoy.

Howard got him back.